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Season 2018


    XRL Press Releases

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    Jeff 'Robbo' Robson

    Posts : 47
    Join date : 2014-03-26

    XRL Press Releases

    Post by Jeff 'Robbo' Robson on Tue Mar 06, 2018 2:30 am

    The Toronto Sled Dogs have today announced their new head coach and home stadium, putting the finishing touches on a rejuvenated senior franchise of XRL.

    The Sled Dogs will play at Toronto's finest sporting facility "The Track" where the year-round wintry conditions of the great white north are expected to add even greater difficulty to the task of visiting teams, on top of the 20 hour flight from Australia.

    It is expected that the pre- and post-game entertainment facilities and the occasional wandering moose will add greatly to the gameday experience at The Track. XRL matches will pause periodically to allow greyhound races to proceed without the dogs running off-course in pursuit of the ball, and so the players can make a quick trip to the Trackside Titty Bar for refreshment.

    In equally important news, former representative halfback Jeff 'Robbo' Robson will be stepping up to replace Coach Brightside as Head Coach of the franchise in 2018. Coach Robbo has pursued a successful post-football career as a pundit and part-time PE teacher's assistant, and is expected to bring all his knowledge and skills to bear as he guides a very young Sled Dogs roster towards a third premiership.

    Coach Robbo has also been barred from the Trackside Titty Bar, so if anybody sees him on the piss or bothering Jasmyne throughout a match, please steer him carefully towards the Sled Dogs bench.

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    PatchesOHoulihan

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    Join date : 2013-01-29

    Re: XRL Press Releases

    Post by PatchesOHoulihan on Mon Jul 02, 2018 3:18 pm

    Monster Move


    Majority owner and head coach Patches O'Houlihan has today confirmed that the Monsters XRL franchise will relocate to Los Angeles effective immediately.


    After six and a half successful seasons in Miami, all of which have resulted in finals appearances, the Monsters will move to fill the vacant LA XRL market and be closer to minority owner and long-term Skills Coach, LeBron James.


    "We saw an opportunity to grow our brand", said Patches. "And as long as we don't win the Sacko, we'll be LA's most successful XRL franchise in history".


    The Monsters will play out the season in the Coliseum, starting with this week's game against the Toronto Sled Dogs.
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    Jeff 'Robbo' Robson

    Posts : 47
    Join date : 2014-03-26

    Re: XRL Press Releases

    Post by Jeff 'Robbo' Robson on Tue Aug 28, 2018 12:48 am

    SHOCK REVEAL: COACH BRIGHTSIDE'S TRUE IDENTITY

    Former Killers/Sled Dogs manager, Coach Brightside, made a surprise press conference appearance today in his first public appearance since he was dumped from that position prior to the 2018 season to make way for supercoach Jeff "Robbo" Robson.

    Brightside announced that the time had come to reveal the truth behind his decade long charade.

    Reaching up to his chin, Brightside pulled at his rubbery face which stretched out and tore away, just like that Mission Impossible scene with Jon Voight.

    Beneath Brightside's face, now revealed to be an amazingly lifelike mask....

    ROBBO! It was Robbo all along! His draft review was never objective journalism, it was trash talk from the game's greatest trickster!

    "So THAT'S why the Killers always received a good draft grade from Robbo!" said one pundit, "Robbo was grading his own draft all along!"

    What a hoodwinking!

    Questions remain over Robbo's decade long impersonation of "Coach Brightside", like how did he manage to coach the Killers and play as a top quality halfback for other XRL teams at the same time?

    Some mysteries can never be solved, but we finally have one answer. The biggest question remaining, what clever shenanigans will Robbo think of next?!

    ADDENDUM: Best of luck to the Lambs this week. The whole league is behind you.

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